Web Diary
Show: Shakespeare's "Hamlet"
Role: Polonius (Minister to the King, Father of Ophelia and Laertes.)
Producer: Shady Shakespeare
Week Four: The Joy of Blocking II, The Director Strikes Back!
Welcome to the second week of Blocking! Essentially this week can be considered:"second verse same as the first!". However, we had a few new wrinkles.
In our first rehearsal on Monday, there seemed to me to be a lot of directors out there. What I mean by that was a whole lot of people throwing out ideas and opinions when the director seemed to be mulling something over. This was not to say I was above this. I am sure early on in the evening that I was just as guilty as the others. But I seemed to sense a growing frustration on the directors part, so I started to back off and be quiet unless I had a specific question about what my character was doing.
The next day my suspicions were confirmed when our director, very politely, requested that we refrain from giving input that did not involve our characters directly unless she asked. This would certainly speed up the process! She also wanted to make sure that the actors were aware that they should not be giving direction to other actors, which we all agreed would be a very bad thing!
I have been acting now on and off for twenty years. But only recently, within the last two years, have I started directing. Now when I act, I do really have to restrain myself from giving unwanted advice or directing others. I make a concerted effort to do this and while I may not always be successfull I hope the effort shows. Regardless, I certainly do not have a problem with any director of a show I am in telling me to butt out! The show has a director and an assistant director and that is all it needs!
Part of this problem, for me specifically, may stem from the fact I am currently getting more creative joy lately from directing than acting. Acting is becoming a trial for me as I have gone pretty steadily from show to show for the last 7 years. Since 1997 I have appeared on stage 21 times, not counting one shot deals such as fund raisers, award shows and improvisation mystery dinners. Add in my behind the scene contributions and the number is approaching 30 +. This year alone I am on my 3rd show with one more to go after Hamlet. In short, I am burned out when it comes to acting.
When I started back into theatre in 1997 I enjoyed all of the process from read throughs, to rehearsals, to hell week, to opening night. Now I cannnot reach that level of enthusiasm and it is a shame. Only during performance do I have any fun and that is not a good thing. The Acting phase of my theatre career is quickly coming to a close.
However, directing is still great for me. It is a new challenge that involves not only my artistic side but my management skills as well. Writing is also new and different. So while I am struggling through rehearsals as an actor, I have to restrain myself from becoming a director because that is where my interest is heading and where I find the most joy.
I should add that nothing in how Shady Shaekspeare is running the rehearsal process has led to this dissatisfaction with acting. My burnout started months ago. However, I feel compelled to finish up those projects I have committed to before thowing in the towel. Does this mean I will never act again after Hamlet and Dracula? I do not know. All I know is that I am not doing anybody any good by continuing to work when my heart is not in it. Hopefully, with some legitimate time off I can recharge the acting batteries and find the joy in the process again. But if I do not, I can look back in pride on a great body of work and know I can still direct and write to feed my theatre hunger.
See ya next week,
Ross Arden Harkness